Too FREE

Christmas came and left the corner. So no more Christmas rehearsals for me to attend and there ain't any classes too. And i'm left with tons of free time and i don't really have any plans to burn time with except for over paid my sleeping quota. If you ask me what have been doing all this while i would be happily answer "SLEEP!".


The other half have gone for church camp since Monday. He'll be back on Thursday. So far the free willy soul of mine have been stuffing my mind with the other half. I can't believe that i feel so dysfunction without him near me. We text and called each other often but i got sooooooooooo used to that till i got myself a little hair wired. It's definitely a good thing being in love. But i still gotta be a little more independent than just waiting for him all the time.


When you miss a person you'll start doing things that you don't usually do. I just ran through all his facebook pictures. What the other half said was right "pictures are like figments of memories that brain left out.". So as i was browsing through his pictures then i came across him being very intimate with his ex girlfriend(yes..he was as straight as a lamp post.). There are pictures of her kissing him on his cheek!!


rawrrr..wait i mean..


RAWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!


I was a bit jealous at that moment. I didn't know that i would come across such pictures on facebook. Some more a peck on his cheek! 


Pffftttt..


I swear if there was a "hate" button on facebook i'll be the first one who clicks it! It is funny how i got all jealous towards a figment of his past. I admit that i'll get jealous if he talks about his past to me. But that's a normal reaction right? RIGHT!? I didn't realized how much he mean to me right now. I really didn't know how much i'm fond by him until i couldn't really get through him these few days.


By browsing through his picture does help to ease me a little. But as much as i hate to admit it i was envious towards his ex girlfriend. Not because she had him but it's because she can show the intimacy on facebook where everyone can view and comment. The other half is discreet when it comes to this circle and at the same time i can't possibly letting the world know that i'm gay since i'm an active Christian as well. What would the leaders say if they knew that i'm gay? What kind of humiliation that my parents have to go through if people knew that my parents have a son who isn't straight? I can't possibly risks myself and my family like that.


All these thinking happened when i'm just a little too free..


I need to get myself busy and hope for Thursday to come!


Because I FUCKING MISS MY OTHER HALF!


Cheffy Ric.


Ends here..

 

Occasions

It's been a very good year end for me. A part of leaving the life of being single I've finally a diploma graduate. I no longer suffer from hearing words and comments that i don't like nor hurtful. And i can sleep, play and eat without guilt. I'll make use of the holidays before i continue on to my Degree.


YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!


Anyway, it's been a very good Christmas for me this year. The other half convinced his dad to let me cook for his(the dad) Christmas in conjunction of birthday party. The other half's main motive is not for me to show off my skills but it's for the family to get to know me as his friend and at the same time i could get to know his family too. Well i was supposed to cook for 80 people for the party. 


Yes!~


80 hungry people!! But the ones that came is just around 50 of them. Food that i made are all good except for the pasta. 


Gahhh..


I didn't wanna talk about my food. The other half was really glad that i've made an impression to his family members and his close friend. I know that he's serious about this relationship because i feel that a guy who brings his other half to meet his family and close friends means he is damn serious about the relationship. A part from that he even passed me his iPhone for me to use while he's attending his church youth camp. He never hesitate about leaving the phone with me. And he even got me a big bottle of Hugo Boss for me as a Christmas gift just because he saw two empty bottle em lying around my amenities table knowing that scent is crucial to me.


Though some of you might think those is just some simple things for that a lover can do but let me tell you one thing. A person don't have to get the moon for you to show how much he loves you. It's never the price when it comes to love. It's always the thought and the effort to show your love.


To certain extend i feel that he loves me more than i love him. He pays very detail attention to me. Even the tiniest things that came out from my mouth tattooed in his mind. For that i wanna to be a much sensitive person than i'm already am now. Love is a learning process. The day you stop learning is the day you stop loving.


I'm so glad that he have much faith in me. No matter in person or at the things im doing. He never fail to show me he loves me.


You're the biggest mistake and occasion that ever happened in my life.


A mistake that i never regret making.


An occasion that i never wished to turn back time.


If you happen to read this i would be happy to let you know that i love you dearly.


Thank you Dee..your love have made me a very happy boy.


Cheffy Ric.


Loving you.

Exterior

Finally the major exams are over. Left another one to go.


I'm not going to blog about my final practical exam as i feel i did a poor job. =S


I was chatting on MSN with Ben who is now in the land that own Hollywood yesterday. I personally think that Ben is a hot cake no matter he's in the Asian country or in a land filled with white and black. Ben own an appealing exterior. Don't even get me started with his body. Ben is a stud after all(Ben..i know you're reading this but that's only my opinion.=p).


I bet DancerBoy loves this! =p

Well, i think majority of us think that a person with an appealing exterior will live on a good life where things just reach out to them most of the time. It's like they don't need to put that much of an effort to get things done. And i don't think people with appealing exterior will be sexual or attention deprived. Somehow they seems pretty superficial to start of with. You feel that you're not good enough even just to be friends or even close acquaintance to them.


I admit that i was very judgmental when it comes to all these things. I was clear that there are some flaws behind those perfect face and body. But i just never want to try to get to know them due to feeling intimidated by great looks. But Ben enlighten me that though he may have a cute face and a hot bod but there's a human with emotion behind those awesomeness. Sometimes i even feel that people with such feature are emotional deprived human beings(blame the circle for having too many superficial males and macho Marys). 


Cute face and hot bods are pretty hard to approach most of the time. They are no aliens but they are just too hard to get close with and should i say they may not want you to be their friends because you're ugly and fat. They often think that they have such qualities that they can choose what they like and even who they want. Ben can consider the only cute face and hot bod friend that i ever have. For once he made me change my mind about hot guys.


Life is not about having an interesting exterior. It's about having what's underneath the exterior.


Superficial can be real too..


Cheffy Ric


Ends here..

Touched

Was a warm afternoon. And i can't seem to settle the lard ass of mine on the study mode. So there i was bumming around but still manage to swallow some notes.

Gahhh!!!!

I need more time to squeeze those notes in my brain. Big brain limited space.

I was at church early. Was having practices with church mates for Christmas. There are so many things to prepare and rehears. The other half promised that he would meet me at my church and we go somewhere from there after that. I needed to take the public transport to church as my mom have sent the car into the workshop. So here i am without my wheels. 

I text him as i arrived church. No respond from him. I didn't bother much as i thought he couldn't hear his phone rings. I tried calling him but no respond too. So as the clock ticks still no reply and calls from him. I've decided to text him and call again. 

Still no respond.

I panicked. I thought something bad happened to him. And at the same time the fear of he ignoring me is there. I have histories with guys ignoring me after weeks of being "together". As much as i tried to stay positive i still can't get rid of the fears. I told him to meet me at my church at 10pm. So i called for the last time at 9.45pm. Still no answers. I got fed up and i gave up on calling him. But my mind still wondering why isn't he picking up his calls nor reply my text.

When the rehearsals ended. I was chatting with some of the church mates near the sanctuary. As i turn and look, i was shocked. He was sitting at the end, the last chair. I was so relieved. He lost his phone. That explained why there are no respond from him. He told me that he felt so lost when his phone went missing. The first person came into his mind was me. Phone is the only way of communication when we're apart. 

He doesn't have internet service at his new place. So he couldn't reach me via internet. He was so afraid that i leave church when he arrived. Honestly i was planning to leave church if there isn't a sign from him. I always doubt his words as cheaters are good with words. But not anymore. After what have happened, i'm confident that i'm the one who he care and love the most besides his family and fashion.

I'm glad that he appeared so abruptly into my life.

Cheffy Ric

Loves here.

Exam is commencing less than 9 hours!

YAIKSSS!!!!

Eating Disorders

I think i'm living one of the 7 sins. 


Which is 


Glutton!


Yesh!


Was chatting with Vin on MSN. He told me his eating habits and all. Then it strikes me that i have the same problem too. The other half have been trying to convince me to take it slow when it comes to food since i'm only 20 this year and it's crucial for me to lose those extra flabbies before it was fixed to growing side ways when my metabolism slows down. The other half kept emphasizing that he don't mind that i'm like the way i am now but he just want me to be in the healthy side instead of risking my health into all these unnecessary illness in the future.


Food have always been the biggest part of my life. I love to eat and i love to bake and cook. So practically my life always revolve around food. There was never a day that i stop eating. I have this mentality that if i were to make good food i must taste good food. The mentality is right but the action is wrong. I can taste good food but not in bulk. I can have more than 2 slices of cheese cake if i want. And the tummy never screams full. I used to have to will power to stop myself from eating too much. But somehow i just lose it. 






It's quite hard for me to stop all these indulgence running around my taste buds. But i just have to stop. I've always been complaining about my weight but i never actually take the initiative to cut down my food resources. It like my kitchen has never been lack of food. There are always stuff for me to munch on when i feel like it.


I don't eat because i'm hungry. I eat because i want to eat. The other half have been hoping and wishing that i could be more sexier one day. Thinner but still be a little fleshy in the healthy way. I have to stop all my excessive food indulgence as for a healthy life. He have been doing his sacrifice in this relationship. So i guess i have to do my part as well. 


Being overweight is not the way of life. I can't be complaining and whining about my weight but still not doing anything to fix it. I wanna walk the talk.


Beauty need some efforts.


Cheffy Ric


Ends..


Now i'm craving for some Pasta~! =S

A Long Night part 2

I was so tempted to sleep when i felt the comfy bed brush through my skin but my mind wasn't at ease. I can't stop thinking about Alex and Ganesh. Those two poor soul must be so terrify. We(Andrew and I.) got phone calls from Alex from time to time updating what's going on. 


I know that my mom is going to question if she saw Andrew hanging around my house at such hour without any prior notice. So i go with my own instincts and left the house at 5am and told my mom that i'm going for a jog. So as we arrived at the police station, the blue uniforms are till not done with the underage kids. So there we are bumming around the station. Since we're waiting i needed a much comfy place to rest my lard ass. So Andrew was inside the building where does i rest my lard ass inside the car with tiny gaps at the window to give it some air flow to save burning petrol.


Waiting..


Waiting..


Waiting...


And..


Still Waiting...


I fell asleep. But it was like 30 minutes then i received an sms from my mom. She accused me for not being home and use "going for a jog" to cover those mysteries. Well, i didn't lie, i did went home and i'm in my jogging attire i did jogged a little in a way. 


Hmmmmm..


Alex told me that some of the underage boys's friends went up to see them. So i asked the receptionist and he said they are coming out soon so there ain't a need to go see them. I was quite relieved knowing that they are coming out soon. BUT it's MALAYSIAN BLUE UNIFORM members. Their soon could be 24 hours!!!


Once again my hope of them coming out soon has vanished. It was 7am, DancerBoy and Tulsy are still asleep. The other half text me around 8.15am. He said..


" Bii..I'm on my way to church now. I hope you're resting now. Please take a good rest. Love you :*.."


I wished i was taking my rest at that time. I replied him(i won't want to reveal our conversation as it got cheesy after that.). He was shocked that i was still there after the long wait. And i got really pissy as the wait seems forever. All they got to do is just sign the papers and the ask the Blue Uniform head to let them off that's all. It's not necessary to hold them for more than 5 hours. 


I met some of the other underage friends there. And i got so annoyed by this fella who thinks he's all that superior. He sounded so spoiled, snobbish and ignorant. He drives a Smart ForFour and own an Iphone and an Ipad. Yea~! That's your dad's money you're spending! So stop being such a spoiled, snobbish and ignorant child before you earn your own pot of gold! 


Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezzzz...


I was half asleep and half awake till DancerBoy called me. It was around 9am-ish if i'm not mistaken. Was quite pleased to have more friends around for the wait. At least can kill some boredom since Andrew was dying out slowly. 


As the clock ticks, 10.15am. The underage kids slowly coming down one by one. I waited in front of the lift, as the lift doors opens i saw ALEX!!! And Ganesh was just behind of him. I was like 


OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GAWDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!


I hugged Alex so hard!!! As though he woke up from a coma or something. I missed him so much. Though i see Alex almost everyday but it felt like he was gone for ages. The 9 hours felt like 9 years! Ganesh came hugging me like a weak soul. We are all relieved that they're out from the building. And the wait has been a torture to most of us except for DancerBoy and Tulsy that went home to sleep..=S


After that the 6 have united together with another one named Dylan join the morning tea. And they were talking about the time they're inside. And it doesn't seems tortured at all! They're like saying they have air-cond, singing sessions, sofas and even ice-breaking sessions. And they even bonded with each other inside there. If Andrew and i knew that it was that enjoyable we could have just use the amount of time to sleep!


All i'm thinking about is that the blue uniforms will question them and keep them off any sort of leisure. Guess i was wrong. When i got into the car i ticket! From DBKL! Oh dear, can the day get more worst? After dropping them home, went home and sleep. For 2 hours then have to jet to church with mom nagging about the car and the petrol. After that mom called and yelled at me. Questioning why is there a dent below the fog lamp. I have got no idea about it because i don't recall hitting anything. 


It was the worst day of my life!


First was the raid.


Then the urine test.


Add in friends got trapped in the blue building.


Come in the sleep deprived.


Then the Saman 


Worst, the dent!


Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!


Cheffy Ric


End here!

A Long Night part 1

Was at the other half's place on Friday night. He dropped me home at 4-ish in the afternoon the day after. As usual, i do the chores and head to church there after.


After church went fetch Ganesh, Andrew and Alex. Then off to MP we go. It was Alex's first time going to MP. Met up with the couple Tulsy and Dancerboy . So the usual we all go "Hi~~~~!!!!" then hugged. So we all chilling around talking and stuff. Ganesh was missing around with his other gang of friends. So i dragged Andrew and Alex along with DancerBoy to the dance floor. But Andrew and Alex were such a bad follower till they found Dancerboy and I are missing. They got back to talking session mean while DancerBoy and I were rocking the dance floor(Oh. Tulsy was already at the dancefloor.). With those music pumping and made the sluts go moving. 


It was like a Sauna room at the dance floor. I couldn't take it then i left DancerBoy and Tulsy do their thang. So i go walking around catching up with other friends. And i went down stairs to chill along with few more mates. As i stand up i saw DancerBoy and he took my hands and rush to the entrance while i looked back there was Ganesh, Alex, Andrew and Tulsy. At the point i knew that there's going to be a raid. But we were a little too late. As we arrived at the entrance the blue uniform shut the door. In my mind was like " Oh crap! I'm so screwed!". Then the manager of MP announce on the PA " Foreigners please make tour way to the exit and Malaysian please remain in the club and avoid blocking the entrance thank you."


OH MAH GAWD!


It's going to take a while. So we all chill around a while before we get our turn to go out. We even joke around a little before going out. When we all decided to go out. DancerBoy and Andrew were safe. Ganesh and Alex were on the other side of the crowd. Tulsy and i were in the same crowd. This ain't pretty. The blue uniform gotten so rough and started to scream at some of the clubbers. As though we're some illegal immigrant in this country. It is so degrading to us all just because we are gay they have to treat us like that.


Did i mentioned the other half went to sleep knowing that i'm in that situation? Yes. He was asleep.-.-.


Jeeeeezzzz..


After they have done separating us up. My side of the crowd were back inside the club. No, we are not being asked to party again but to do urine test. Ganesh and Alex were outside waiting due to underage. I was so scared not that i took drugs but it's the fact that i needed to stay on longer for all these shits and who knows parents might find out about this. And the fact that Ganesh and Alex were trapped as well. Ganesh and Alex were being brought to the Blue building and Tulsy and i were doing the urine test. And i saw this fella pee in two containers and pass one of it to his friend. He must be taken tons to drugs and the pee can't do him any justice. So as Tulsy and i were safe i went for a grand reunion with DancerBoy and Andrew. 


But we can't have a reunion without Alex and Ganesh. As we arrived at the Dang Wangi Blue building we got to know that they're going to keep them longer than we thought. So, DancerBoy and Tulsy went home and sleep. Andrew and i refused to sleep knowing our dear friends are in such trouble. So Andrew followed me home while waiting for the other two to be release.


...
...


To be continue.

Fast Forward

Malaysia is a fast phase country. 

No? Don't think so?

Like it or not our country is in the fast lane! 

No. We're not that fast when it comes to technology, automobile neither nor fashion.

BUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT..

Malaysia is fast when it comes to festivities. 

Don't know what am i talking about?

Christmas is yet to come and they have already promoting Chinese New Year's album. Those local stars, hosts and DJs have already recorded a series of CNY's album. I mean. Christmas have yet to come and y'all already excited about CNY!? 

WOW! This is so fast forward. 

I want some Christmas songs and not dong dong chiang. I find it ridiculous when i heard CNY's song played in the stereo. I mean, i do like CNY because of the ang pau gatherings i'm going to have. But right now aren't we supposed to focus on Christmas instead of CNY? We can be speedy when it comes to festivities but not technology. This is just so sad to know.

Bahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

Cheffy Ric

End here.

I'm very in LOVE! 

=D

The Dinoric

No. I'm still alive. My monitor somehow died on me few days ago. So i couldn't go online. 


Anyway. I'm back with more updates!


Before i begin, i have to admit that this year's birthday was the best! I enjoyed it very very much. I'm going to reveal it later. =p


Cheffy Ric


Ends here.


I think i'm in love..