Realised..

Hey Y'alls!

It used to be cool to have a blog or being labeled as "blogger". But i guess the trend is somehow coming to an end due to the fact that most of the blogs that i followed are collecting dust and having spiders as a web pet i think. HAHA!

To be honest I've lost my mojo or you can say my passion to blog already. It seems like the words that i type isn't that magical anymore same goes to my grammar. Not like i have flawless grammar also bahh..

Anyway!!

It is interesting to see that how I've grown from the previous years(more like from the very last post as an active blogger.). I always like to believe that i'm way too mature for my age and my peers seems to childish to be up to my standard. But i guess i was wrong because after reading those previous post that i've posted i do sounded like a mature 20 year old but i still see a childish 20 year old instead. Blogging about stuff that everyone would agree, constantly seeking for approval and attention and also blogged about the love that i once had.

I used to hate how guys always tells me that nothing really last forever in the gay circle. I'm being naive for believing that forever does exists in this circle. All i need to do is just put my heart at it and it'll all be fine and he will be by my side till death do us part.

I was wrong. All that i believe in was all wrong. I put my heart and my soul for this very man that i once called my beloved. But it didn't turn out the way i wanted it to be. Everyone has their own perception and opinion towards whatever they believe in. Unfortunately both of us refused to compromise each other any longer. 2 years being together, he is the only one in my mind all the time. There no one i would rather be with and i love him so selflessly agree on things that he prefers to do. 

"As long as you're happy i'm happy." 

I think everyone should stop believing in that quote. It may work if it's a heterosexual relationship. A gay relationship? I'm not too sure. 

I used to believe that quote. But it haunts me over time. The more i try to please him the more selfish he gets. 

Try picturing this scenario.

You don't have the privilege to cook for him often due to the fact that none of you owns/rents a place.Your parents is away for the weekend. All you want to do is just cook him a meal but you don't enough to cover the cost for the ingredients. So you asked 30bucks from him to cover the ingredients. But he got upset because he have to fork out the money and he questioned your sincerity for cooking.  

Not too sure how you'd feel.

For me..it was a deep slash through my heart.

For him to be happy i gave it all but i got bruises and cuts in return. Didn't regret for what i gave but definitely i'm baring all the consequences. He got together with another dude weeks after he left me. Me? I'm still having trouble falling in love. Or even love like i've never been hurt before. 

The funny part is that he asked me not to be picky and give love another chance to fall in love again. Where he's the one who causes you to lose faith in love.

Don't get me wrong. I still pretty much believe in love still. I wanna be loved and love. Maybe just not anyone who comes in my way. Furthermore i'll losing weight and bulking up who knows my next one will be some build man with define chest and countable abs?

HAHA!

Oh well. Whatever the older gay said was right. I should never set 'forever' as my expectation. Let alone growing old together. A day at a time and live it as if it is the last day of your life.

No expectation No disappointment No promises No hearts broken.

  

Drop By

Hello everyone! It's Cheffy Ric back to the blog scene. 

Anyone still actively blogging? 

Hmmm..

Life has been a roller coaster for me after my very last blog post here. I have to say that i definitely have grown so much from what i was. 

But things are different now.

I'm back to the life being single for about half a year now. No..the other half is no longer a half anymore. I guess things just change over time and i refused to compromise anymore. So we ended things on Chritsmas Eve 2012.

Not too sure will i ever go into detail of what had happened because the fact that i had repeated it over and over again whenever my friends asked about it.

Maybe someday i will blog about it. 

For now. 

Just this simple update.

It's me

All Grown Up

Cheffy Ric

Toodles.

Tragic!

Again this place has been as quite as a kampung can be. I got lazy to blog about any shits bout myself and i got tired of thinking of what to blog about to attract people to pay attention at the stuff i blog. 

Should i post a naked male model just to get back some attention?

HAHA!

Happy?

What have i been doing for the past two months of absence?

Once again i've out grown myself again. I turned into a responsible young working adult. I was supposed to pursue my business degree last July. I was so sure about getting back to studies but 2 days before the orientation day my parents came up to me and told me that they can't support at what i about to pursue.

I was devastated.. I was waiting for the day to get back to studies since early this year but ended up a huge blow at my face. Guess this is what we called life huh? 

Well of course, i played the victim role so perfectly as though my life had came to an end but the reality is that i was being dramatic. I cried like a hysterical bitch. Have a temper like a drunken woman. And blame the world for not able to pursue my studies..

HAHA! Yes! I did all that..

But come to think of it again right, if i don't play such role at that time when is the next time to do so right? HAHA! 

Oh well, all of that has passed. I have moved on to a new chapter in my life which i didn't expect it to happen so soon but it did. Which is the WORKING life..jengjengJENGGGGGGG..

What can i say? You can never predict life. 

I gotta admit. I love working at the place i'm working now. It is stressful but i got my fair share of fun and laughter. I'm surprised myself about how i actually enjoy working. But i still do want to get back to studies whenever i get my chance to. 

Of course working is challenging but the most important thing is that you're able to learn things you can never learn at school. It is stressful i gotta admit but it will mold you into a better and mature version of you.

The relationship between me and the one is still staying strong. Sekelip-kelip mata we've already gone through our 9th month soon to be a year and i'm all excited about our very first anniversary. It's the only real relationship i'm in and it last till this long and it shall be last till the end of our days i hope.

HAHA!

Ever been in love?

Ever love someone so much you just think about him rather than yourself?

Think again.

Cheffy Ric.

Signing off..

  

Never Stop Learning

Once again this blog has been dead for a month. Oh well not like i'm trying my best to keep it alive anyways.

HAHAH!!

If you guys clicked my blog because you may think it may be about hot guys then..

Oopsie daisy..

I guess some things that we can never stop learning. Having myself being brought up in such ways things can never be easy for me. When i was younger i often heard friends around me telling me that their parents had promised them a fabulous gift if they scored well at studies. Oh well, it never happen to me. One thing because i didn't do well in my studies(HAHA) but the fact that my parents can't afford to promise me anything that may lead in to disappointment in the end of the days.

Therefore i often get the stuff that i want the hard way. But that mold me into a better version of me today. Well, i'm not perfect certainly not extremely gorgeous as well. Therefore things can never be easy for me. But there's always a thought in my mind that constantly remind myself that i can never stop learning.

There are improvements of the country day by day, new technologies being created day by day and even there are new cures for all sorts of diseases as we live our life. So we are obligated to be humble and learn each day in our lives.

There isn't a substantial reason for us to stop learning. But every now and then i encountered some shameless people trying to educate some individual outside regarding a certain skill through a certain source of information where does he/she himself/herself don't apply that into their daily life. I mean aren't you supposed to do the talk and not only talk the talk?

Being secluded by people who knows you and understands you all the time doesn't made you good at what you're intended to educate other people. It just made you as contradicting as ever. It's like Jamie Oliver tries to be an engineer.

Hmm..

I'm a type of person who is bad at hiding my own true emotions. When i don't like a certain things or a certain type of person i'll be pretty bitchy and cold about it. Once long time ago, i was forced to be in a situation that i absolutely unfamiliar of. And the crowd isn't the crowd that i'm used to. So there was i snapping at everyone.

HAHAHA!!

I'm still in the process learning to differentiate between being real and being presentable in an unfamiliar crowd.

Bah!

Tough lesson!

Think you're good enough to educate people?

You do the talk?

You think so?

Think again!!

Cheffy Ric

Signing OUT!

Awake

Wow! I have left my blog dead for more than a month now. No. I haven't been busy. Just lose the momentum to blog. Having my thoughts trapped and couldn't translate into a blog post just makes me lazy to blog about just anything.


HAHA!


I have been doing very well. The other half have made me a very happy boy indeed. What i love about life right now is that i'm very conscious with the things i do and the decision i make. I'm loving myself every single day and of course it does help to have someone beside you to make a better version of you.


I just did a major spring cleaning on my Facebook. From pictures to friends. I didn't know how notorious i was until i look at my own pictures. I have trouble growing up. Many people out there may think that a guy like me would have tons of loyal followers but the truth is i'm always struggling with having the least amount of friends. Instead of quality i go for quantity.


So there i was adding random cute and hot gay strangers as my friends on Facebook that i think i may stand a chance to be their friends or even boyfriend if i'm lucky. Turned out none of it turn out as what i expected it to be.


But i still manage to have a big bunch of friends which i find them pretty cool to hang out with. Humans will never be satisfy with what they have. So after i have a huge gang of friends, i started to crave for appreciations from each and single one of them. Turned out majority of them don't give a shit about how you feel deep inside. What they care about is just to relax and have fun.


As soon as i stepped out from the over rated drama and diva scene i came to a check point where i started to search for my true self once again. I always thought being bitchy and diva is my thing but it wasn't after all. 


I always considered myself a not so high profile gay because i've seen what's high profile gays are like. I was wrong. I was a high profile gay in my own terms which gave me a huge slap at my face. I gained my conscious. 


I picked myself back up and be who i really am now. I stayed away from the self proclaimed diva gang and i disappeared from being the socialite at the club. 


Who needs quantity when you have quality?


Count your blessings. Be happy with what you got. Having fame doesn't secure you happiness.


I happy that i've found myself and i'm on the right track.


I was never this happy in my life before. Though i may have put on some inches but i'm still happy. I'm me! And you have found me. 


I love you.


You know who you are. :)


Love being on top all the time?


Quantity is greater than quality?


You really think so?


Think again!


Cheffy Ric back in da house y'all!


Stay tune!

Paternal Affairs

As much as i love the other half but it came to a point that i hate the fact that we can have our children in the future..

T_____T

I guess this is what happens when you're only producing worms and you ain't got any eggs to go with it. Back then when i wasn't that queer i always hope to get married and have children. FOUR of them! Two boys and two girls

HAHAHA!!!

Yes! I love kids but i ain't pedophilia. 

I always tell the other half that i wanna bear him his child. But the sad thing is that i don't have a uterus certainly my testicles produce active worms but not eggs. We always discuss about how our children should look like. I always said that our kid should have my Asian single eye lid eyes. 

Yes! I have a pair of very flirty Asian single eye lids!

(That's what the other half said.)

Every now and then when we're walking on the street or even walking in a mall, when we saw some cute little monster we go like "OMG!! So cutee..". I love seeing his expression when he sees a cute little monster. Oh..So heart warming.

Reality is that us as gay, we may be rich in the future but we just couldn't have our own children. The closest thing we can have children is through adoption. But adopt a children is not that easy and he/she isn't blood related to you at all. When you have a kid of course you do want your kid to be biological related to you right?

Lately there another way is through surrogate. But the thing is that the infant only related to one of you. Which means if the other half go through this process the end product have no chance to have my flirty Asian eyes.

We don't want to have just an infant but we want an infant who is biological related to us. Living in a closed minded country doesn't do us queer much justice. We could be most outstanding employee in the organisation. We may be earning almost 50 thousand a month but we could not have children who are related to you and your spouse.

Even if adoption works, the kid will probably having a tough time growing up because of he/she was raise by two fathers. The kid will be most probably ended up like Rachel Berry on Glee who slushy was being thrown on every now and then. 

I envy heterosexual relationship all the time because their love life is divided into few stages.

First is to meet each other then comes in marriage.

When the both them have enough of each other they will want to have editions to their life. So the baby comes into picture as they watch the baby grow. Teach the baby new things and skills. Watching them being rebellious and go all worried about their baby's future. When the baby grown up the parents are waiting for their baby's next step of life. 

The child get married and grandbaby came into picture. And the cycle goes on and on and never bored of it.

As for us?

We're excited to know each other and went for dates. When we're done with dating each other, we start getting into a relationship and have all the sex in the world and try to get ourself pregnant but the process fails all the time.

But the only thing that might excite us all is civil partnership means get married. Even that we have to be secretive about it if we're not out to our parents. And there are no such things as getting married in Bali because there are only few country nor state that open to gay marriage.

So all we can do now is to have an affair with other people's baby. We always be there seeing them, hug them , kiss them and watching them grow but they will never be yours.

I always wanted to have my own children.

Same goes to the other half.

But we're stuck with each other.

Can't produce eggs.

How?

You wanna have kids?

Adoption?

Surrogate?

Abduct!? O_O!

 Cheffy Ric loves BABIES!

 

The Silent Gay Vibes

Being queer in this generation definitely bring us more joy and entertainment where internet is so convenient that we can almost search for almost every single shits on the world wide web.

Here i am here typing a post about some muted queer boys. 

No.

I'm not that mute at all. But ain't flaming either.

It isn't hard to spot a queer man nowadays as our community are multiplying day by day. As you can see gay men are obsessed with good looks from hair to skin then from skin to pubes and the list just goes on and on. Of course we all want to see how other men pubes looks like whether is it shaved or not shaved, trimmed or not trimmed and even waxed or unwaxed. We all wanted to go on to tiny details.

But since we're in the public area the on thing we can see is just the way they dress. Majority of the gay men doesn't fancy loose clothes despite they're not model six packs build. Like they all say gay men have more fun which i agree because most of the gay men loveeeeeeeeeesss vibrant colours. 

Yes. I'm speaking for my behalf. 

You can spot all sorts of outfit wore by gay men every now and then. I read this article once that says gay men shops more than women. So we are actually boasting our country's economy by spending. So i need no to say much you all have an idea of how typical Malaysian gay men looks like on streets.

Being gay doesn't mean that you're one of the loud ones. They are pretty much closeted gay men which ain't looking any gay at all. But there are ways to discover their through identity some of these factors:

 Their love for music.

No just any kind of music but those main stream artists like Lady Gaga, Britney Spears, Katy Perry and Ke Dollar sign Ha(Ke$ha). You can find all these artists songs on their media playlist. But K-Pop(Korean pop) have been doing so well now even gay men loves them till bits especially SNSD(Girls Generation).

For us gays we would take the least amount of time to recognize them. But for straight guys? They don't even want to bother which is which as long as they can get them on their bed then it's fine for them. 

Besides that we even sing along to their song. If you see a guy who sings and dance along to SNSD's song   he is 70% confirm gay. 

Their love for F A S H I O N !

9 out of 10 gay men loves fashion! You just ask them who are the top 10 designer's they'll just answer you effortlessly. A part from that they know who are the big bang model working in this industry. If you ask a straight man who Coco Rocha is they'll probably answer you "It's a  chocolate".

-______-

Furthermore gay men loves America's Next Top Model!!! Gay men know who are the best walker and took the best pictures. Straight men will probably tell you who have bigger boobs(Tyra Banks larrr). Worst they won't even know who Amber Chia is. 

There are too many loud gay men out there which made us left out about gay with silent vibes.

Whoever puts a contestant from ANTM as their phone wallpaper, they are gay!

Because straight men will only put some random sexy porn star as their phone screen.

Those who loves SNSD and sing and dance along to it are also GAY!

Because straight men will only think of  nine pussy to fuck when they think about SNSD.

Guys who have very very close girl friends are gay!

Because straight men will usually court girls around them excluded older relatives.

Those who loves all and above and dating a girl..

He's definitely confused and the girl could be his fag hag when he came out from the closet.

You have guy friends like that ain't gay?

Dating a girl but so in love with SNSD?

Ask him to..

Think again.

I love Chocolates from Coco Rocha! 

Whoopsie daisy!

I must be S T R A I G H T ! ! ! 

Cheffy Ric

Turns STRAIGHT!