Too FREE

Christmas came and left the corner. So no more Christmas rehearsals for me to attend and there ain't any classes too. And i'm left with tons of free time and i don't really have any plans to burn time with except for over paid my sleeping quota. If you ask me what have been doing all this while i would be happily answer "SLEEP!".


The other half have gone for church camp since Monday. He'll be back on Thursday. So far the free willy soul of mine have been stuffing my mind with the other half. I can't believe that i feel so dysfunction without him near me. We text and called each other often but i got sooooooooooo used to that till i got myself a little hair wired. It's definitely a good thing being in love. But i still gotta be a little more independent than just waiting for him all the time.


When you miss a person you'll start doing things that you don't usually do. I just ran through all his facebook pictures. What the other half said was right "pictures are like figments of memories that brain left out.". So as i was browsing through his pictures then i came across him being very intimate with his ex girlfriend(yes..he was as straight as a lamp post.). There are pictures of her kissing him on his cheek!!


rawrrr..wait i mean..


RAWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!


I was a bit jealous at that moment. I didn't know that i would come across such pictures on facebook. Some more a peck on his cheek! 


Pffftttt..


I swear if there was a "hate" button on facebook i'll be the first one who clicks it! It is funny how i got all jealous towards a figment of his past. I admit that i'll get jealous if he talks about his past to me. But that's a normal reaction right? RIGHT!? I didn't realized how much he mean to me right now. I really didn't know how much i'm fond by him until i couldn't really get through him these few days.


By browsing through his picture does help to ease me a little. But as much as i hate to admit it i was envious towards his ex girlfriend. Not because she had him but it's because she can show the intimacy on facebook where everyone can view and comment. The other half is discreet when it comes to this circle and at the same time i can't possibly letting the world know that i'm gay since i'm an active Christian as well. What would the leaders say if they knew that i'm gay? What kind of humiliation that my parents have to go through if people knew that my parents have a son who isn't straight? I can't possibly risks myself and my family like that.


All these thinking happened when i'm just a little too free..


I need to get myself busy and hope for Thursday to come!


Because I FUCKING MISS MY OTHER HALF!


Cheffy Ric.


Ends here..