Courage

OMG! I can't believe i actually went missing in the blogsphere for almost a month now.


HAHAHAHA!!!


Sorry, i have been busy with CNY and haven't have the mojo and he time to update this domain of mine.


O'm here announce that my blog is still alive!


Now RISE!


Anyways, CNY have been good to me and i'm talking about the food and the fun that i have but on the other hand ang pow money took a discount on me! T_______________________T!


Used to have like Rm 700++ ang pow money but it took a 60% off this year..


WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!????


But leave the ang pow aside, i had good fun this year. And i laugh till i feel my diaphragm gonna burst.


It was also a quite tragic CNY this year. The other half was superb pissed with me over some issues(my attitude issues was involved.). I'm not going to feed your kepoh crave. 


Throughout the whole fight that we had i came to this point realizing that i could have lose him due to this matter. I didn't know how much i want him before this fight started.


To certain extend i do feel that i love him but on the other side i felt that the reason why we're together is because he like me and at the same time i saw a potential future of the both of us. I even feel that we're together is because i was desperate for a relationship and so happens he appeared out of  nowhere and wanted to go to the level with me. 


How silly am i right? I was wrong about myself. When i reached the edge of feeling i'm loosing him my heart aches. I don't wanna lose such a potential other half that i have. I don't wanna be unloved. And i love him too. Very much in fact. After he hung up on me the other i find it hard to fell asleep. Thoughts are spinning round and round in my head. The reason i don't wanna lose him is not because i'm afraid of being single but it's my love for him have grown so much stronger that i thought it would be. It's not like what i felt before for other guys. This is different. Really different. 


I willing to spend time cooking for him despite i know it was a hard dish. I never said never when it comes to cooking for him. He have done and sacrificed so many things for me but i have yet to do anything that reply his efforts in this. I'm such a bad boyfriend to begin with. There tons for me to learn and there are things that i still need to work on. 


Gahhh...


Getting into a relationship is easy but maintaining it is hard. Despite it's hard i wanna make this work between us. 


I never know how much i love you till i felt that i almost lose you.


You guys may think that having a fight is a bad thing.


But when it comes to relationship fights is the only way to test you love towards one another.


Courage enough to test your relationship?


Cheffy Ric.


Loves Dee!