Added another year of Wisdom.

There's a saying "a year older, a year wiser.". I second that. Because it was indeed a true factor for my case.

This isn't a good year for me in financial point of view. But throughout the whole constant financial crisis that my family have to go through, it mold me into a better person. More mature in fact. Knowing that my parents couldn't get me a cake or even give me the an amount for me to bake my own birthday cake, my heart sank a little. But then i realized that this is not what they have planned. They just can't help it but to go through this way. I know deep down they are sad and blame themselves for not being able to provide the best for their children. For me, a cake isn't matter much for me anymore as i've learnt that there are more in life besides birthday and cakes.

I remember those days when i was younger i would pay attention what my parents have installed for my older brother on his birthday. So that i could ask for the same exact thing(or better) during my big day. But each and everytime my birthday approaches my family will face financial difficulties(it's like God detest me on my birthday.) and couldn't grant my wish. And i will go all bitter complaining that my parents isn't fair to me even yell it out loud saying they favor my brother over me. I was an ungrateful child ever in this family. 

Thinking back of those events that have happened i came to a point thinking that i was not the only one who felt the hurt. In fact, my parents are the one who felt the worst. I made them felt that they didn't do well as parents. What's worst of hearing nasty words from others is hearing your own children blaming you for your insufficient source. I was wrong for blaming my parents for all the little things they couldn't do instead of those that they have done. They may not be the perfect parents that i ever wished but they are doing a great job as my parents. I was a silly childish boy.

Though they can't provide me a fancy cake but daddy got me a rather humble cake. It's not from those branded bakery but it was priceless! Because it was a cake bought with love. 

Leave the fact of me being single, i have everything in life that worth cherish. I have family that love me like no other could. Friends made up from care and concern. And the God that never fails to bless.

I'm complete.

=)

I couldn't be thankful enough for all the wisdom that i received this year. If there isn't flaw in life there won't be me today.

I officially live for 2 decades in this planet called earth.

Birthday Ric.

With love.


Time check 12.38AM 1st December 2010

Counting Down

Celebrated my pre-birthday dinner with a bunch of mates. Aside of them being TRULY MALAYSIAN when it comes to time. I enjoyed the night very much.

Great company, great people and great environment.

the greatest flaw is.

The FOOD!

I dined in a upper middle class restaurant. So i expect great SERVICE and great FOOD! But no. Alexis, The Gardens have failed me again. The server ain't polite. Further more they are lack in product knowledge. I ordered for a medium done-ness for my burger patty. But it came well done. When i complained the server insisted that it was medium. I'm taking Culinary Arts of course i know whether is it medium or well done. Not only that, my friend's chicken dish wasn't cooked properly. It's still bleeding inside.

Put that aside. A friend of mine who is a pastry chef, he baked the cupcakes for me. But we are not allow to eat in there. I wanted to asked the server to keep the cake chill. But nooooooooooooooooooooooooo..They're going to charge me 30 fucking bucks if i use their chiller. Not only that! They charge 30 mother father bucks if we eat the cakes in there. 

Just because you served cakes it doesn't mean that we have to eat your cakes! We're giving you business and that's how you treat your guest in return!?  

Damn!

I'll never ever dine in Alexis, The Gardens with my own money anymore!

But i was truly blessed with the friends i have.

=)

Oh. I received an adult toy as birthday present. O.O!

Cheffy Ric.

Ends here.

A perfect 20 in hours time.

Intimidated

I feeling shitty now.


I'm not a book smart person to start off with. Teamed up with two book smart students for assignments definitely suffocates me badly. I'm not saying that they are such a push over. But it just make me feel i'm not up to their standards when it comes to every single thing. Things that i do which is enough for me doesn't mean it's enough for them. Maybe i wasn't trying hard enough to perform in what the assignments asked. But it definitely made me feel bad for not giving what i was supposed to give. I seems so limited compared to them. They can came up with so many little things for the assignments but not me.


Being teamed up with street smarts seems to be much easier as we all think a like. But in the end the results weren't as good as we expected. I used to live in an environment where everything is general. Nothing was that detailed as what i'm facing today. It made me felt like a dumbo for not being able to produce work that is up to standards. It's like nothing that i do is right. Somehow i feel the friendship between me and the other two have ruined due to this matter.


I hate myself for not being able to commit like how they do for assignments. Maybe i just not the study type of person. How am i supposed to switch to economics field when i'm not the study type of person? Even a basic assignment i can't do well how am i suppose to perform in the future? 


I feel like crying my lungs out. I can't seems to do anything right. I'm taking diploma but my mind still stuck in high school format. This is one of the flaws that i hate. I always go around telling people to embrace their flaws because it made them special but here i am hating my own flaw. I'm such a hypocrite.


Sighhh..


Maybe i can never talk to them like how i used to now.


I'm just so disappointed in myself.


Sighhhhh..


I may be a good friend but a good friend doesn't mean good partner at work.


Cheefy Ric


Emo here.


Randoms


My Birthday is on the 1st of December. But i ain't excited anymore.

Fashion Vs. Uniform

It's been two wimpy post. Dinoric is eager to spice things up.


So, i'm going to talk about guys today. 


Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!


There have been many good looking guys lately. It seems so effortless to look good since the fashion industry are so updated with the trends. Even an average guy with slightly more flesh can look good without putting much effort. Oh gosh  i think i'm self boasting again. 


TEEHEE!


Lately, there are tons of apparel a guy can choose from. From fitting bright color shirt to detailed vest. From leather pointy shoe to sneakers. Unlike those olden days where the men just wear a plain t-shirt and a pants. They are so many to choose from. As long as you have the money you can have it all.


But is fashion better than uniform? 


Hmm..


You be the judge.


Fashion number one.

Fashion no 1: Choi Siwon.

What do you think? Is fashion hot?

Fashion number 2: Hyun Bin.

You gotta admit, those floral print shirt are to die for(i love the colors.). 

Fashion no.3: Taecyeon.

Shirtless with great packs are in trend too. But ain't no fashion! I just have to find a reason to put his picture here.=p

You have seen three two fashion pictures. So now let's take a look on uniforms. Yea. That what i like. Uniforms.

Uniform: Military.

Don't you think men in uniforms are hotter than those in fashion? Look at those bulging muscles. Yum!

Uniform: Doctor.

If i ever get Dr.Frank Spinelli as my doctor i'll die with no regrets!

HAHAHA!!

So. What do you think? Which is hotter? 

Fashion?

Uniform?

Last but never the least. This is by far i think it's the most perfect human being i ever see in shots!

OMG! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRFECTTTT!!!!

Cheffy Ric.

Horny here..

Damn i gotta settle myself now..

Randoms

I'm turning 20 soon! 

=D

Adapting to Situations

It's a beautiful midnight. It's Friday 2.35am now. I'm here sitting at Kuchai Lama's McD with my brother's lappy updating this post.


Usually i'll be at home at this kind of time on weekdays. But my almighty loyal LCD monitor decided not to serve me anymore. It died off. Leaving a blank black instead of colourful images. 


I got home from my last kitchen class before heading to finals 3 weeks from now. It was 11pm when i arrived home. And parents wanted to have a family prayer. When the prayer ends i hopped on the chair and get my desktop started. I sat there for more than an hour trying to get the monitor start. But no luck. It decided to leave itself be a blank black. I told my parents that i need to head out as i need to do my assignments with the internet. They don't allow it at first because it's isn't safe for me to head out at such timing(it was 1.30am).


There's nothing much they can do as the monitor is not starting up. Unwillingly they let me out. Now i am sitting in McD typing this post. Life is about adapting into new situations. As much as i love to stay at my comfort zone but when situations don't allow i just have to adapt it. Same goes to parents. As much as they want their children to stay young and never leave their sight but they still have to adapt to the situation as the kids grow up.


Well, here's a story. I know this guy M last year. We're once close acquittance. But things went the wrong directions. It all started when he blogged about an old uncle owning a Nokia N97. He remarked that the phone does not suit that old uncle at all. It doesn't match(ehh..gadgets don't wear the owner. so no need to care match or not.). After than remark, i seriously thinks that he have an attitude problem. He loves those designer's brand like Prada, Salvatore Ferragamo(SF), and the lists goes on. He even claimed that he have two bags from SF. I'm not impressed nor envy. Guys who buy designer goods with their hard earn money are much appealing fyi(but not till they obsessed stage larrr..). Somehow somewhat i can sensed that he doesn't like me in person. He thinks i grossed him out which i wanna know why. And now he thinks i'm a low class bitch. 


He even bitch and moan about the most tiny things in life. Once he told me he wanted to quit Hotel Management because he hate kitchen practicals. In my mind i was like "WHAAAAAAAAAAAT!?? SERIOUSLY? Just a subject! It's not like you're facing some discriminate issues like i do." 


Yeaaa..


I admit that i'm no high class who learn poise and posture since young. And i even think SEED bags are luxurious. But at least i know there are more to live beside designer's good. I felt hurt when i know the fact that people thinks that i'm low class. I did nothing that resembles as low class. I may not think that owning a Louis Vuitton is a must in life. I may not think that the restaurant Alexis is worth going on a causal basis. I don't even think that having a Mac Book is much privilege than Dell laptop. 


There's no doubt that designer brands are some awesome shit. Expensive things are meant to be pleasant to the eyes anyways. 


I'm really curious why M thinks that i'm low class. I just want a very definite answer.


Mehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...


I tried to be oblivious towards all these things. But i just can't help myself from thinking. 


I'm just another pathetic individual.


Cheffy Ric.


Ends here..

Stressed, Scared, SINGLE!

It's the end of the year now.

Yes! 

I'm excited with my Birthday on the 1st of December.

But i ain't excited anymore when i know what am i going to face after that.

Christmas is in the air. But somehow i don't feel that much of the mood yet.

The nearer my Birthday is the more stress i received. 

The nearer Christmas is i can almost feel like dying.

My final semester of Diploma in Culinary Arts is coming to an end soon. Very soon. 

The exams falls in between my Birthday and Christmas.

So. What's there to be exciting about all these events? I have greater fears.

The fears of failing.

The fear of repeating this semester again.

The fear of not being able to step closer to my dreams.

I'm still NOT PREPARED for the exams!

Stress

Scared

Single(this is just random.-.-)

Going insane very soon..

Cheffy Ric.

Stressed here..

Drama Friends

I'm suppose to be doing my Entrepreneurship project. But i'm just too tensed up. Brain got jammed..


Mehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...


No. This post is not a rant about my assignments.


Well, it is believe that if you're gay you are meant to be dramatic one living in this planet called Earth.


Why?


You don't agree?


You can't deny the fact that you have drama friends around you that makes your life a little more colorful. 


No?


Still don't agree?


Oh well, at least i have some drama friends. I'm okay with a little drama but recently the drama have been adding up.


I have a notsoclose friend whom his mum just passed away due to cancer. I understand that he's sad about it and my condolences goes out to him and his family. But since the day his mum had passed away he have been updating his Facebook status constantly. I know he's sad and all but at the same time i felt annoyed by the fact he kept updating the same old thing dejavu. And i began to doubt is he really sad about his lost or he wants nothing but plain attention(he's famous as an attention seeker whore. In fact he's a goddess of attention.). In my defense, this post is not written because i dislike him or whatsoever. 


People in his friends list will just kept commenting on his statuses. Seriously lorr..i don't find the point lorr..


Seriously if my mum ever passed on(touched wood.) i'll online update my status like this 


"Thank you for all that you have done. Mum, may you rest in peace in God's arm. With love."


I won't go on and on updating about my mum because i'll spend my time sobbing my lungs out and forgot that Facebook ever existed in this world. I totally understand how he feels but the updates is a little too much in my opinion. If you have done enough as a child i don't think you need to show the world how much you love her and miss her. I know i may sound as though i'm cold or there ain't any blood flow through my body but this is just so drama i feel.


A part from that another friend of mine M decided to quit Facebook. 


Reason?


Facebook reminds him of all the past. I may not know what he have gone through but the key of forgetting the past is to MOVE ON! As simple as that. He's only just peaking through the closet hole and have yet to be out in this gay circle and he's already said he had enough of betrayal and heart breaks. If a newbie said he have already had enough betrayal and heart breaks from this circle ain't us as "old fox" should commit suicide due to the fact that our hearts are shattered and it can't be fixed?


Wait. Did i mentioned that M wanted to cut himself? Yes! A newbie said he want to cut himself. I think us who have been in this circle more than 2 years should be dead by now. Our hearts are so fragile and nothing that can changed our mind to stay as a living human being.


Ish.. Gila betul.


I had enough of negative energy going with no thanks to my ASSignments. I don't need those extra negative drama going on anymore. So sick of it. Being queer is already so drama and still want add some more. Give it a break man~!


Do you have drama friends too? Share it if you don't mind.


Cheffy Ric


Ends Here.

Contraction!

I don't care what they said about Finn. Mr. Schu is the HOTTEST IN GLEE! =D


I know i have been complaining about being single and lonely from time to time but i have finally talked to someone in MP. But it wasn't a random someone, it was a friend of another friend. I met Ken at the roof top bar after greeting a friend of mine. So after walking in, out, up and down in MP i finally got tired of hunting anyone. So i sat down with Ken and started to talk and get to know more about each other since we're not into the smoky and loud music at that moment.


At first i found Ken pretty decent though his appearance is a little below than average but who cares right? Just friends nothing much. But as we talked i felt that Ken was quite into me(i'm not self boasting here.) and we got a little clingy after a while. I didn't know how old Ken is until he told me. I thought he's like around 25 years old or above(i always think that older guys are attractive.) unfortunately he's only 22 this year(potong markah.). 


His personality is alright, nothing much to complain about. He seems pretty nice too. But after the party had ended we had Wan Tan Mee in Chan Sau Lin for supper. That was the time when he told me he doesn't have a license. At my table there was one recovering from tipsy and another one completely tipsy till wanna vomit stage.  My friend had no choice to sent both of them home thus left Ken to me. So Ken apologized due to troubling me dropping him off at his place in PJ. I was fine with it.


Curiosity made me questioned Ken why he doesn't drive since he's a working adult. He told me that he don't have a car and a drivers license. In my heart was like "OKAAYYYYYY". Don't get me wrong, i'm okay with  him not owning a vehicle since he's only 22 this year. What kills is that he doesn't have a drivers license. If you're from far away land who left your home town at the age of 18 to pursue your studies and neglected drivers license is exceptional(usually they get drivers license ASAP after they graduated from college.). But Ken is local and he goes to local college and yet he doesn't have a drivers license. 


Drivers license is important for a guy(at least i think so.), it's the most basic thing to have. Yes we are gay but still! Drivers license is important. If you're a guy you are meant to be responsible for polluting the environment.


I'm pretty stereotype when it comes to what makes a guy guy. There are no exception though we're bended males.


1. Drivers license is a must!
(You can't be expecting people to drive you 24/7. It's a different story if you're Justin Bieber..wait..even Bieber drives. So. NO exception.)


2. To have a stable career.
(Guys are meant to be out there earning their pot of gold. Working hard at work is a must! I know we don't get married and have kids of our own but it's not a very good excuse to not working hard.)


3. Own a car.
(It is okay that you drive your parent's car to your first job. That car has to go when you start performing well at work! Better car, better image, better standards[yes! that's how superficial i am])


4. Have your own domain.
(It doesn't matter whether you own a humongous mansion or a cozy condo. As long as a place of your own is more than enough. Takkan you (still) want have sex in your parent's house even though you're 35 mehh???)


I know i could sound very superficial but i think that's the least a guy can do. We only get to live once, don't you wanna live the fullest?


Ken gave me a kiss on my neck and my lips before he left my car. He started to addressed me as "baby" which i finds it pretty awkward. We're not in any sort of dating or in a relationship. I know most Sagittarius are pretty slut and promiscuous and like to be called dear, darling or baby by random people. Consider me an alien Sagittarius, i hate those "names" when we're not in any sort of relationship beyond friends. 


Maybe i was wrong for being clingy towards him in MP. I sent out wrong signals. It was my fault for leading him on like that. But what should i do now? It quite obvious that he likes me. 


Should I stick to my own perceptions and ideas about how my ideal one should be? Or i should just grab Ken since i'm so desperate for a relationship? 


Bahhhhhhhhhhhhhh


This is contradicting. As much as i want to be in a relationship with someone but i'm picky about it.


Cheffy Ric


Ends Here..

I can't do it without Him.

After reading Jason's recent post. It got me thinking about what bad things my dad had done to me.


Hmm..


How should i start?


Here goes.


I have a dad who loves the family very much. Particularly his ever beloved son. I remembered when i was at the age of 7, my dad would drop by and check how am i doing at school since it was my first time in school(kindergarten is not school mind you.). He stood behind the fence during recess. Checking his beloved youngest one in the family tree(me! =D). 


As i grew a little bigger, i became a very naughty kid. I go play with my friends instead of going back to granny's.  My dad got very worried and furious at the same time. The consequences is bruises everywhere when i got caught red handed by my dad. Both of my parents are typical Chinese parents who thinks children must be beaten in order to be good in the future. My dad was considered the not so civilized ones. He himself barely finish high school and was taught by the society. Whenever i against his almighty will, he will start hitting me with his not cane, but PVC pipes. Yes, PVC pipes. Imagine going to back to school with bruised legs and arms. How humiliating is that? 


My dad is a contractor himself. So naturally my house will have those tools that is needed in the construction site. Just name me any tools i'm sure i have it here. My dad was pretty violent one to start off with. He'll just grab hold of anything to hit me when he's uber furious. There was this incident was tattooed in my head that i could never forget. I was out running around with my friends ones. When i got back to granny's he rushed me to pack my things and head home because he knew that he cannot hit me in front of my granny. 


My granny was my knight in shiny amour when i was younger(grins.). My granny said this once " if you want to hit ah bee(my nickname) you must go through me!"(i was my granny's precious gem y'all!). 


Back to the topic. 


As i got up to dad's car, he started to punch, pinch and slap against my arm, lap and leg. Yelling and screaming at me while he drove the car. What did i do? Cry lorrrrrr..kena hit until like that still don't cry mehh??  As he drove to this cliff near my house, he open my side of the door and wanted to push me off the cliff. How could a father wish his son to be dead? It wasn't his intention to do so but he was angry and worried at the same time. 


What hurts me the most is that he said "so what!?" after i told them i was being sexual harassed at the age of 5 by my baby sitter's son. At that moment i thought i was nothing to my father. Nothing hurt more than what had came out from his mouth. But what can i do? Run away? Commit suicide? Or cut myself like what they did on tv? It was never easy to live a life like mine. I'm saying i'm the worst of the worst but it was enough to mold me as what i am today.


Despite all have happened i thank God that he gave me a forgiving heart. I forgave my dad for what he had done to me. I forgave him for what he have said. I forgave his wrong doings. Thing had happened, let it be a past. For what have happened i still enjoy snuggling my dad whenever i get the chance to do so. Dad may be a very strong sculptured man but his heart is as soft as mum's.


Mum loves hugs and kisses but remember, dad loves it too. I gave a peck on my dad once and it put a smile on that cool face of his. Dad may be a villain when we were younger but don't forget, that villain are the one responsible of who we are today.


Seriously. If wasn't Him(God) i'll still hold on to my anger to my dad till the day u stepped into my grave.


Sorry it wasn't proper written. Mind went blank and wasn't detailed enough.

I think this resembles dad's thinking a lot. He will pretend to hug you until you really hug him one day.


















Cheffy Ric


Ends Here.

Envious

I've left my bitchy emo-ness aside for a while. 


Time for something..


Erm..


Envious?


Yea.


I started blogging since 15. It all began when my older brother and his fellow mates started blogging. I didn'r know blogging is that fun yet i lost the mojo after a while. Blame it to my childish thinking and amateur blogging wave.


Mehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..


After coming back as a blogger, i find myself still an amateur blogger. I blog with the most random stuff like what i'm typing here. As mature as i think i may be i'm still a growing teen after all. With those extremely indecisive ranging hormones and thoughts turned into a post(bahhh..i'm talking nonsense here.).


I really admire and envy towards those blogger that uses bombastic vocabulary to express their thoughts online. I always wanted to be a person which have great commands in English, specifically in writing. I love to read. I have quite a wide range of vocabularies but it's limited when i construct an essay or even blogging. I often use simple and direct vocabularies to express myself online which i find it pretty embarrassing due to the fact that people around me aware that i was brought up with English as my first language.


Some of them thinks that i'm cool because i have great commands in English. I contradict their statement about me as i don't find myself as a person who have great command in English. Consider myself an average person with the basic requirement of English to get through with life.


Being a person involved with science have always been in my dreams since young. Due to the fact of a wicked side of me thinks that people who involve their career in science are slightly smarter than others. I love the scientific term of each and everything. I even think the word homosapien is cool! Admiring doctor for me it's like dried food in the fridge. It's not fresh but it isn't expired, you just put them in the fridge to give them a longer life span. 


I have always prefer medical term compared to others. Because it doesn't sounds direct(to me at least.). Like doctors who deal with cancer are called Oncologist, spine doctors are called Osteologist, doctors of nerves are called Neurologist. Scientific names are so cool! Unlike business terms that sounds so blunt and uninteresting(no offence!). 


Once when i was having lunch with my mum in hospital after my medical appointment with Osteologist(i'm a spine patient.), i came across this two yummy doctors having lunch. They were discussing something about this cancer patient and they started to pour those cool scientific medical terms here and there. Already they are yummy looking, some more so smart and talk about scientific medical terms(orgasm.). I swear i moan(not literally larrr.) each and every time they came up with those names. It's like the language French. You find it cool but you don't understand it. 


HAHAHAHA!!


I swear if one day if a decent looking gay doctor ever come after me. I'll die with no regrets! 


HAHAHAHA!!!


Okay. Enough of my fetish towards doctors now. I bet those doctors who ever read this post will grossed out!


I've been a very very naughty patient. Come inject me through my asshole(kinky!). 


Cheffy Ric


Ends here.